Do you ever feel that Satan has your number?

 This post was actually written several months ago but I never published it.  After reading it today, and struggling yet again, I thought I should post it, even if it is just for me :)
 
The past two days Satan has really been fighting overtime, so it seems. It's almost like I have been fine for so many months and then out of nowhere, "wham" there he is, in full storm. I am not even sure what brought this on but I am haunted again by this sin that never seems to go away completely. That sin that we somehow need to re-commit at the altar more than we would like to admit. That one weakness that creeps up on us unexpectedly and makes us feel like we are unworthy of God's love. I think we each have our own "Satan Specialty." It is almost as if he knows exactly what buttons to push in hopes of persuading us to fall off the edge in into his filthy muck once again. And somehow, for those few moments, that muck looks so enticing! The more we give in to the temptation the more beautiful and alluring the sin becomes. If we let the temptation settle and thrive in our minds, he has us right where he wants us. "Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. " - James 1:14,15
Luckily, God is full of grace and truth. These are the ingredients of victory over sin. Instead of dwelling on Satan's lies, we must speak truth. Start thanking God for all He has done for you. You will be amazed at how soon the temptations will flee when we realize that what Satan has to offer is only temporary pleasure with a side of guilt and shame. Sometimes, I believe that we just need to cry out for His grace, realizing that we cannot do it on our own. Sometimes in His mercy, he picks us up even in our darkest moment and lifts us up out of the miry pit and all we can do is praise and worship Him because we know it was only by His grace and mercy, no merit of our own. (1 Cor 15:10, 2 Cor 12:9)
I don't know how long I will be haunted by this sin. Will I wake up tomorrow and not wrestle with it for another 6 months? Will it ever go away completely? Only God knows but I have a strong feeling that these moments of weakness are what keeps us near to the cross. These moments keep us humble and true to ourselves and more importantly they keep us true to God. We are not fooling anyone. Living a life of holiness is not easy but it can be done. We must maintain a proper fear of God and be constantly yielding to righteousness (Rom 6:19, 2 Cor 7:1).